Thursday, July 29, 2004

I Dont Want To Live Alone

"We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm."
-George Orwell

18 comments :

alix said...

man, you guys have brass balls. i know a lot of it's the training, but damn! you have to wonder if the neighbors don't hear your hearts as your creeping up the streets...they'd sure hear mine.

SO glad your all safe and the mission went well...i was worrying about you guys yesterday. well done, soldiers. (nice music choices, too, btw)

i am beholden to you for allowing me this glimpse, a light-shard of understanding.

Ruth Douthitt said...

Too bad those Hollywood types like Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, George Clooney, etc. join the military and see what the "real" world is like. It is easy for them to criticize the war from their Italian villas and yachts.

They should learn from Clark Gable, Jimmy Stewart, Tyrone Power...real Hollywood stars who signed up and went over to the war to see it for themselves.


It is sad to hear about how the kids are affected by the evil actions of their fathers. But I am glad that you guys are putting an end to this evil..one house at at time.

God bless you guys!!! You are in my morning prayers everyday and our church prays for you guys too.

Unknown said...

Wow. You are definately gifted, talented and amazing. You should save your journal entries, your blog entries, and all writings and publish a book when you return. Your writing is better than the book "Jarhead".

Im serious, think about putting something together, once this is all through.

xxxxoooooooo
be safe sweetie

Allison said...

CB, I'm glad to hear you are safely back from your last mission. I can imagine that no matter how many times you rehearse shit in your head that it doesn't get any less nerve wracking. I think it's a great idea to stay away from all the hydroxcut, ripped fuels, caffeine shit, it could very well adversely affect a person in those types of situations. And I second Alix on the music choices.

Your post today is incredible, I felt as though I was standing there viewing the entire episode. You have a gift for empathy as well. I have learned over time that not many know how to be empathetic and for the people that do it may either hurt or harm them. But it sounds as if you have the gift to be empathetic yet balanced. Good for you, it's a blessing.

I remember, too, your mentioning that since you've been over there, you jumped up in your bench press from 2 hundred something to 305. I am thinking that 50lb battering ram must have felt like an easy day at the gym, that is unless you held it for hours on end. (I hope not)

Anyway, I'm glad to see that you posted today, and am beginning to worry like the others when you don't. As usual, you're in my thoughts.

Andy McLeod said...

i heard flash-bangs cause people to lost control of their bodily functions. is this true?

Your description reminded me of Eric Haney's accounts of training as a Delta operator for similar raids. However Delta participates in counter terrorist operations so a lot of times theyll enter the room shooting and actually "clear" a room. check out his book "Inside Delta Force" for some heart pounding stories.

stay safe

Kat said...

Nothing left to say, but thanks for staying safe and coming back to blog.

thanks

Charlie said...

There's no feeling quite like stacking on a door, not knowing what's on the other side. Good job in bringing everybody home safe. Nintendo generation my ass, the rest of you in civvie land should see what these guys can do on these raids. Lesser men would have shot everything that moved inside that house, but our guys have shown an amazing capacity to avoid killing anyone who doesn't need killing. One Marine in our battalion saw a guy reaching for an AK while raiding a house in A-stan. The Marine chose to buttstroke the guy and bring him in alive. CB, I'm proud as hell of you guys and wish I could be over there with you.

Ron Brynaert said...

Powerful stuff. You are really growing as a writer. Poignant, exhilarating, pulse-pounding prose...skateboard dude!

However...

You lost me at the end of your piece. "But this guy that we got was a real piece of shit, killed a shit load of innocent people, and their families are forever changed and alot of Iraqi people are spending the rest of their lives alone because of this scumbag." And how exactly do you know this? Did Centcom provide you with a search warrant? Did you see any evidence that this guy killed a shit load of innocent people? Did you retrieve any weapons, explosives, NBC WMDs (ha), or dirty bomb material (i gather not since you said this poor family had little-to-no worldly possessions? Did you see any proof that ties this guy to insurgent attacks such as fingerprint matches, video tapes or witness statements? What crimes exactly was the suspect charged with? If we're trying to install democracy whatever happened to the presumption of innocense? Was the target a suspected terrorist or an insurgent fighting against his country's invaders (you do understand the difference, I hope)?

I've read enough of your prose to see that you're not a foaming-at-the-mouth right-wing fascist (although your constant use of the perjorative word Haji to describe any-and-all Iraqis is incredibly offensive...and counter productive to the supposed mission which is to win the Iraqis hearts and minds....but I understand the conditions you are under and the pressure, fear and anger which must consume you)...but any true fan of Hunter Thompson must be aware of the unending propaganda that you are fed (that this war has anything to do with 9-11, for instance). In the play which I wrote a year ago ("The Rules of Embedment or Why Are We Back In Iraq?" Why Are We Back In Iraq?), I explored the reasons why US soldiers use such perjoratives.

I suspect that you hold some of your true feelings to yourself (who knows who in the brass might be reading this blog) for fear of being called "Commie", "Wuss" or worse. There is also the chance of being Serpicoed (like in De Palma's Casualties of War).

Peace...brother....
stay safe....I hope you can come home soon

Morly said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
J.D. said...

A search warrant? WTF!?! Are you out of your f-ing mind? No miranda rights, no search warrants, no jury - he is at war! Presumption of innocence? Soldiers aren't cops you nitwit. What difference does it make if the detainee was a terrorist or "an insurgent fighting against his country's invaders" as you so partisanly put it? Shoot at me or my brothers and you are a one word description: enemy. Your motivation doesn't matter.

Why does a soldier need to care whether the war was justified or not? He's there, he has to do his job, and he wants very much to get home to his wife. In a democracy the military must subordinate itself to the will of the voters, and the voters sometimes make mistakes. So what? When the military doesn't follow the will of the voters we have a military dictatorship. So we civilians should care and we will express ourselves in Nov. Meanwhile CB has more immediate concerns. The first time you hear that "crack" over your head politics goes right out the window. He isn't in a debate society over there, he carries an M240B 7.62mm air cooled, gas-operated, belt-fed, crew-served automatic weapon that fires in the open-bolt position. That does his talking for him.

Perhaps you feel the soldiers should demand proof to their satisfaction before going on a raid, but that would result in an ineffective military organization. As an infantry commander I welcomed questions, and didn't mind explaining things to my troops. And after we spoke they went out and did exactly what I told them to do because 1) they were great soldiers, and 2) I wouldn't tolerate anything else. So your whole premise is understandable but misinformed.

CB felt for the man's family and sees his enemies as human beings. He will also shoot them dead every chance he gets. Still, it helps to be on the side of right when you are doing something that causes pain to innocents like the detainee's family. That is one reason that whenever possible soldiers are told "why" they are executing a mission. Another reason is that it helps them understand the commander's intent better so that they can succeed.

Why use the word Haji when everybody around you does it? Hmm, gee, I don't know. We should try and use politically correct terms to avoid offending the people who are trying to kill us.

Serpicoed? Geez. As if he would be fragged for saying things others don't agree with. That isn't how the military works my friend.

Your conclusion that he isn't a right-wing fascist was a bit condescending. Of course he isn't, but it implied that your default setting is that soldiers are right-wing fascists. You seem one of those people who decry stereotypes (as you should) and then don't realize when you are guilty of them - such as criticizing racist stereotypes of blacks, and then concluding that "Southerners should really not do that." As if all southerners think alike. The US Army takes an oath to serve the Constitution, an idea, instead of taking an oath to a man or a government or a people or a geographic area. The Army is apolitical (everyone that doesn't think it is is just uninformed and silly). And the Army is not very welcome to fascists - remember, this is the Army that founded the nation by fighting the Revolution, defeated the Confederacy, and saved the world from fascism. To suggest US soldiers are fascists is to not know the difference between the Waffen SS and the soldiers storming ashore on D-day to destroy them.

Go play some kumbaya and get in touch with your inner child. CB is busy kicking down doors and providing support by fire for his brothers.

Carry on CB - continue the mission and keep sending your sitreps so those of us at fort living room, backyard brigade, Chairborne division can know what is going on with you. You are in our prayers.

Rab, I shouldn't have called you a nitwit - it is just that you got me worked up is all.

Spidey said...

There will always be two sides of a coin. It just depends on which side is taking it harder. Take courage, you have done what you need to do for a good cause and for freedom! In God We Trust!

Kat said...

Rab...Michael Moore? Is that you? I think CB wouldn't mind if you took his place during an OP and try to talk nice to the "minutemen". Maybe they will buy into your PC crap and not shoot you. Or not.

Frankly, "this we'll defend" said it all.

J.D. said...

Hound, you seem just as selective in your reasoning as Rab. "Demoncrat?" That's mature. I don't know why you assumed that Rab's rant (I like that - alliteration never hurt anyone. he he) was somehow republican v democrat. I'm a democrat, by the way, and I don't appreciate you lumping me (a veteran) in with Rab (who doesn't seem to care for soldiers much). I don't remember enabling communism at all. Maybe I did so in between the infantry school and drill sergeant school without knowing about it. I'm really sorry. Maybe President Truman (who sent troops into Korea) or President Kennedy (who sent advisors into Vietnam) were enabling communism.

Harry Truman started the policy of containment that both parties followed until the fall of the Soviet Union, but somehow you feel democrats enabled communism? Wow.

You can reply but unless the "demoncrat" remark was a typo or you apologize for it I don't think I will waste my time with you.

Ron Brynaert said...

re: this we'll defend....

I wasn't suggesting that infantrymen should need a search warrant to do their mission. The only way for an efficient military to work is for soldiers to do their jobs (within reason) without questioning anything. My comments and questions were about the fact that CFTB didn't offer any reasons for his assumption of guilt...i understand that he is in a war zone and can not give away information...but since he is choosing to be a writer...(and that's what my comments were mostly about)...he has a responsibility to explain things....

His answer to my post...is pretty much good enough for me....although until i know all the facts I remain skeptical...as any American who hasn't signed his life and rights over should be.....

If he had written in his post...for example...I can't get into details because of regulation but trust me the scumbag we got is guilty"...that would have been sufficient...

It also seems to me that a lot of the people on this site overlook the multitude of anti-war statements...the picture of Guernica...and the fact that this brave soldier named his site after a song by fear (before Henry Rollins became more of a fascist...ha you guys will love that) and hunter s thompson who is no fan of this administration or war....

"Why use the word Haji when everybody around you does it? Hmm, gee, I don't know. We should try and use politically correct terms to avoid offending the people who are trying to kill us."

To avoid offending the people who are not trying to kill us...the people this mission is supposed to be about...the people who want and desire a free Iraq...but if you read my post carefully you would see that I understood the reasons for adapting such an attitude one hundred percent.

"I've read enough of your prose to see that you're not a foaming-at-the-mouth right-wing fascist " does not in any way imply that every other soldier is...if you want to know the truth...it was more about some of the people who post on this site and link to it....but I don't have any hate for those people either...Nevertheless...I do apologize if CFTB misunderstood it....since it's completely ridiculous...the military is composed of American citizens who put their life on the line for our country...and while I am anti-war I am not against the kids that are out there fighting and dying....

How can anyone think that I suggested the troops are that way.....

As far as being "Serpicoed" meant....if you know anything about the case or even the movie....Frank Serpico wasn't attacked by the police (or "fragged"...they just "may have" not adequately provided him sufficient back-up....nonetheless....even though he told the truth and did his job valiantly...there are police officers to this day who spit on him....there was a New York Post article about it a year or two ago....

It's extremely difficult to criticize a war or write your true feelings when you are in it...because you have an obligation to serve your country...(and though people might be naive about it...but you do face some sort of threat or aggravation if you dissent from what your fellow troops believe) And I think CFTB does a magnificent job - for the most part - of writing around it.

I'm not Michael Moore (though I'm not offended by the comparison) or a demoncrat or "anti-troop"....I love our troops so much I want them all to come home safe and sound.

Armies are not apolitical...they must and should be pro-military...which is inherently political....

I don't know how to play Kumbuya...but I have a hard time understanding why singing a song about peace is something to be derisive or CONDESCENDING about....

re: hound
I'm certain I'm more knowledgable than...at the least...you
I've read countless books and articles and stories from all sides of the debate...but your comments are pretty ignorant

re: (who doesn't seem to care for soldiers much)

If I didn't care about soldiers I wouldn't be marching in the streets for them. I wouldn't frequent this site so much...and link to it on mine....
I wrote a play about the war which includes 6 Marines are major characters...and while at first glance - the most extreme of the Marines might seem "inhuman" or "anti-troopish"...by the end of the play...they all prove to be human beings (who may or may not make mistakes or be misled in their actions)....and my audiences were able to grasp that fact....

If I were anti-troop my favorite writer wouldn't be Norman Mailer who served this country...and I also wouldn't dig Tim O'brien or Anthony Swofford or James Jones....

Sorry to use up so much space on your blog...dude...

Finally - "If OEF isnt about gas or 911, what it is about is the future of civilization, something which you demoncrats have done everything in your power to destroy and divide"
This war was fought for a multitude of reasons and most of them bad...Saddam Hussein was a scumbag but he wasn't jeopardizing the future of civilization.

We went to war because of the lobbying of a group of well-placed neoconservatives who might have some points but are not to be trusted since they are all doing their best to cash in on the big money being tossed around.

Because of our present situation (relying on other countries' oil) it is in America's best interests (only an idiot would think otherwise) to insure that we are not in danger of being cut off....(ever since the OPEC bans in the 70s...it has been a national concern...as it should be) Unfortunately, oil companies and companies that profit from them and politicians that profit from them have no interest in finding alternative fuel sources...even though...there isn't enough oil in the world to last forever (perhaps another 60 years)
China is catching up to the US in terms of fuel consumption...and that is the ultimate fear for many of the neo-cons...

In addition...we needed to pull our troops out of Saudi Arabia because of the King's health and the political instability and succession of government concerns...but be able to keep them in the area....because our country can't afford to go without oil...

That doesn't mean that the Neo-cons are all traitors...many of them do what they do because of what they believe are patriotic reasons...

But if you people still believe this war isn't about oil...then there is nothing anyone can say to prove to you otherwise...

Peace to all...
and especially to the Americans whose boots are on the ground...

J.D. said...

Nice save Rab.

Still, with respect, your ignorance of the military and your stereotyping of them shows through. I hope that since you shared your feelings and thoughts much better that time around you can learn something from some of the comments I make below. You seem a smart guy and I think that since the military serves us we should all know a little about it.

"The only way for an efficient military to work is for soldiers to do their jobs (within reason) without questioning anything." I encouraged my soldiers to question everything - I think questioning authority is the heart and soul of our Revolution. However there are some things that aren't worth questioning because it isn't right for the military to make those decisions. For instance, "should we be at war in Iraq?" Not for the Army to say, it is a decision for the People. Most civilians seem to think that when you join the infantry you are told what to do all the time. In fact our "mission order" Army pushes responsibility and authority to the lowest possible level and encourages initiative to an extent I have never seen equaled in civilian life. Just as it is conventional wisdom (and completely wrong) that infantrymen are economic draftees who joined because they are poor and not all that bright, it is conventional wisdom (and completely wrong) that soldiers are taught not to question authority. My experience was that every time I questioned my leaders I seemed to get promoted and given greater responsibility. Ranger school (a leadership school) teaches soldiers to take charge, but that we are all in this together. Give an order to a group of riflemen and if they don't think it is a good plan they will tell you so, in detail, and expect it to be fixed - and they will help the leader do it. And the Army wants it that way.

"My comments and questions were about the fact that CFTB didn't offer any reasons for his assumption of guilt" - perhaps, but your post discussed the "presumption of innocence" and asked CB if he found any WMDs "ha," and then you said "Was the target a suspected terrorist or an insurgent fighting against his country's invaders (you do understand the difference, I hope)?" The sarcastic "ha" and the "fighting against his country's invaders" led me to believe you were not, as you now say, anti-war but not against the troops. You used "search warrant" etc in your post which led me to believe that you didn't think a raid without one would be legitimate. I apologize if I am wrong about my presumption. Many civilians, especially those who hold the "economic draftee" positions or who are pacifists, think that the Army doesn't care about civilian casualties and that they are fascist for breaking down doors and arresting people or killing them. The fact is that the Army is not a police force but a killing force, and when you send in a guy like me - well, like I used to be - you are saying all bets are off, normal rules don't apply, and that I have a license to kill. That is why we don't send in guys like me unless we don't see any other way. It isn't going to be a "surgical strike." I hate that term. It is going to be surgery with a sledgehammer, and war is the infliction of death, pain, and fear on the enemy until you subdue them to your will. It is always ugly, and when people criticize the military for civilian casaulties or rounding up suspects it makes me want to scream. You send in the military when you want things broken, and you shouldn't criticize later if they break things.

I do know about Mr. Serpico and his stand against NYPD corruption. I also know that he was shot and not backed up by his fellow officers, and that there are some who believe it was a set-up. I thus interpreted your comment correctly - that CB's buddies might turn against him if he disagrees with them or says something unpopular. Peer pressure isn't unique to the military. In fact, I felt less peer pressure after I had excelled in the infantry. Do well, get a reputation as a stud, and pretty much nobody questions you. They respect you. Most civilians think that the Army doesn't like soldiers who think for themselves (a Hollywood stock character is the bright soldier beaten down by dumbass leaders). In fact the Army promotes them.

"Armies are not apolitical...they must and should be pro-military...which is inherently political...." - this is a statement of, well, staggering ignorance. Apolitical means the Army doesn't intrude into politics and instead answers to their civilian masters. But, yes, it helps to be pro-military when you are military. The Army's job is to be, yes, military. That doesn't make it a political animal and it is not.

"I don't know how to play Kumbuya...but I have a hard time understanding why singing a song about peace is something to be derisive or CONDESCENDING about...." well, given your statement that being in the Army is itself a political act, well...

I felt it was appropriate, after your first post, to lump you in with people who believe that the way to respond to evil in the world is to sing songs, grow beards, and skip regular baths, and the evil will just go away. It was because I was angry and venting, and since you have responded with a message quite different from your first post I take it bath - I mean back. Nothing wrong with peace, love, and understanding, but the Jews of Europe in the 1930s tried every peaceful means they could to deal with the threat they faced. Flowers didn't stop Nazis - the US Army did. By killing Germans until they surrendered. I like that the Army did that.

As for your other stuff, you raise a common point - that the war was for "oil" and to secure our supply. I feel it was partly about oil, but I'll leave you (and everybody else) with this parting thought: If you and your buddies owned a bunch of texas oil wells, would you want cheap and plentiful middle east crude or would you want instability and shortages? By the way, oil is at $42 a barrel and possibly at an all time high, and oil companies are making record profits. So perhaps this wasn't about "securing" oil at all. Just a thought to get the synapses sparking. I'm sure it has little to do with Mr. Bush of Texas and his reasons for war.

J.D. said...

One more thing since you are anti-war: I've seen good men die, and I've seen civilian dead. I've seen a guy crying because he shot a little kid who was shooting at him. I've seen the face of evil. To expect me or any other veteran to be "pro-war" is insulting, but it is common in the anti-war and pacifist crowd.

Pacifists consider themselves morally superior. I consider that they would rather stand by and watch Nazis round up jews instead of taking action to be less than moral. But I also think - no, I KNOW that war should be the last resort and only when the alternative is worse. When the evil that comes from doing nothing is greater than the evil that results from war. Few wars meet that criteria, but those that do have saved mankind from the dark ages.

Warriors understand the evil of war. Having been around the world and seen societies ruled by evil, societies with no rule of law but only the rule of the gun, I also know that military force is necessary and preferable to letting evil triumph.

This war, well, some believe it was justified but they never seem consistent with their reasoning. Those who think it unjustified merely because ALL wars are unjustified have reasoning at least as flawed. As for myself, I know that we did invade so I can't change that. Right now matters most to me. We are not better off if we lose than if we win. I suggest we win as soon as we can, but that we remember to hold responsible those who chose to invade in the first place.

J.D. said...

91ghost - thank you. I always fought for priority of fires, and it is always nice when redlegs tell you "splash over." Splash out.

Strykeraunt - you rule. Well said and obviously heartfelt. Your nephew serving and you writing what you wrote = a very special family.

Boone said...

You are indeed very brave, soldier, but you might read or listen to something other than the rhetoric of your commanders. Then you might learn that the men you take down on raids are mainly civilians reacting to your commander-in-chief's unwarranted, illegal invasion. They, like you, see themselves as taking revenge, or pre-emptive measures. A killer is a killer, whether he wears traditional arab attire or a U.S. soldier's camo.

I respect your courage and skill, but you seem way too intelligent to believe that the raids your superiors send you on are making Iraq, or us, any safer. The invasion itself has made the entire region far less safe and has shown us to be Imperial bullies akin to Hitler's Third Reich or Caeser's Rome. You don't have to be on the ground in Iraq to understand this; you just need to know a little history.

God Bless, and get home safe...

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